When you remember
by Criminal-Dawn
Summary: Set during Bonnie's memorial. What if Stefan went with Caroline as support?
1. Chapter 1

**Post 5x04**

**I don't own a thing! Unfortunately!**

**I was devastated that Stefan didn't remember Bonnie. I mean come on! Ok so he didn't remember everyone else … but still! LOL**

**I was torn of whose perspective I should write this from. I started with Bonnie, but ended with Stefan.**

**… Enjoy.**

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There was a _pull_ to the cemetery, something he couldn't explain so when he arrived the only logical explanation was to go to his family's crypt. He had a lot of thinking to do. The revelation that the woman he was supposedly in love with, Elena, had left him for his brother tore him apart. He didn't understand why but it cut him deep to know that. She was beautiful, smart and her smile lit up his world yet she wasn't his. She was his brothers. How could he fall for a woman who would go into his brother's arms? He didn't understand and it was best if he left this place, started over somewhere new. Yet he couldn't leave.

He heard footfalls come near and he was surprised to see that Caroline Forbes, his best friend was here. After explaining why he was there he turned to see her somber beautiful face. From the pictures he's seen she was always smiling wide, a light in her eyes that could not be dimmed yet the woman before him was sad. Once she told her that their friend Bonnie was dead he understood. He felt a _pull_ at his heart, _unexplained_ since he didn't recognize the name Bonnie, but he saw the pain in her eyes. She was important. At least to Caroline. When she went on about only having sadness and anger he knew he had to stay here for her.

"You have me," he told her. "You were there for me last night, so let me be there for you."

She leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and felt the sobs begin, wrecking havoc on his friend. "I don't know what I'm going to do without her" she sobbed and all he knew to do was hold her. After a while, when her tears stopped and her sobs lessened, she turned to face him wiping away her tears.

"I know you don't remember her but… would you want to … just … come with me? We're holding a little memorial for her," she told him as she began to stand up.

He knew his brother and Elena would be there but he couldn't say no, not to her in a time he knew she needed him most. So he agreed and walked with her to a clearing where sure enough Elena stood in Damon's arms and a blond guy to the side. Damon caught his gaze but said nothing as he led Elena into the clearing. The blond man handed Caroline a pair of pom poms and she held them up to her chest closing her eyes. Her pain was evident and it took everything in him not to reach out and hold her.

As they reached the clearing he saw Elena's younger brother and when the young Gilbert caught his eyes he saw confusion. He noticed that he looked to his side as if something there caught his attention but Stefan didn't say a word about it. He walked beside Caroline to a tree stump which had a bell on the top. Jeremy placed a picture down and stepped back, then Caroline stepped forward and placed her pom poms down. When she turned around her crestfallen gaze met his and she ran into his arms as she allowed the tears to run. Her sobs broke him apart but he remained strong for her. The blond guy went up followed by Elena and finished with his brother. Mementos laid down that must have symbolized Bonnie to them, something he could not partake in since he didn't even remember her. Once again Stefan watched Jeremy's attention be called to his side but didn't focus on that. Instead he watched as Elena fell against his brother who looked equally pained as the rest.

"We ring this bell in honor of Bonnie, in remembrance of her," Jeremy stated then rang the bell.

Caroline pulled away from his embrace and stood next to Elena, taking her hand as they watched on. He stepped back, feeling like an intruder as Jeremy began to speak as if Bonnie was there telling him what to say. When he was telling Elena that she doesn't need to be there for everyone, to go back to college and live it up Stefan looked everywhere but at the brunette. Jeremy then spoke to Matt; telling him that he didn't do anything wrong and Stefan noted that the man was trying to keep everything in but he was about to break. Which he did when Jeremy told him that Bonnie missed him.

"Caroline, she watched you decorate that dorm room like your life depended on it," the laugh his friend gave was bittersweet then he saw her pain again. "She knows that college isn't everything you expected and you feel like something is missing… She wishes she could fill that gap because she wanted to go to college. But she can't so she wants you to enjoy it for her too ok?" Jeremy finished then he switched his gaze to him.

"Stefan, she knows you're hurting right now … She's seen you fight against it all… you showed her that what you are doesn't define you. Who you are deep down is what matters and you're so strong. You will get through this… She needs you to keep your word and be there for Caroline. When you get your memory back, know this… It was easier with you." He didn't know what the last part meant and he didn't know how Jeremy could know about his promise to Caroline but the only thing that struck him to his soul was that _what you are doesn't define you._ He needed to hear that. He looked down and closed his eyes and let his words sink in. He heard Caroline gasp and run behind him to a dark haired man and kiss him. He was surprised that he didn't feel jealous instead he was happy someone was able to put a momentary smile on her face in such a trying time for him. The guy went to place a white rose down and they all remained in silence for a while longer.

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**So I had to re-watch the scene to make sure my storyline matched somewhat and I finished this in tears! AGH! I hope I get a review or two on what you all think.**

**Yes... There are many MANY errors... I'm sorry. **

**Just so you know the reference to "It was easier with you" is to a deleted scene in season 1.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this!**


	2. Chapter 2

Character do not belong to me

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All the memories. The agony. It all flooded him. Sitting in the middle of the woods after burying Silas he still remembered being trapped in that vault. It tore away his sanity, all he saw was that cliff and Silas stabbing him. "No … no!" he groaned as he fell onto his knees once more after trying to stand up. Elena and Damon had walked away once more. Together. "While you were suffering in that safe grasping onto hope and fighting every second so you wouldn't lose your humanity… I was happy. I got everything that I wanted Stefan. I got to be in love. I got the summer of my dreams. I got Bonnie back." Her words cut through him. He wasn't sure he could breath.

_Who you are deep down is what matters and you're so strong. You will get through this…_ Bonnies parting words to him when everyone found out she was dead. Even thought at the time he didn't remember her she reached out to him. _I know you're hurting right now … I've seen you fight against it all… _Why was he thinking of that now? He thought to himself as he stood up and walked towards the boarding house. He could breath now … he wasn't thinking about Silas. Instead he was thinking about Bonnie? He shook his head as he walked in and saw her by the fire place. Knelling down, and by her shallow breathing, he could tell she was in pain.

"Bonnie…?" he called out cautiously as he came in to the room.

"Go away … please" she groaned as she clenched her side.

"I can call Jer-" he started but she turned to look at him and he saw tears streaming down her face.

"DON'T!" she screamed as she tried to stand up but she fell against his chest when he caught her.

She began to start sobbing against him and he soothed out her hair and he fell to the ground with the young witch in his arms. "Hey… it's okay… shhh" he tried to comfort her. After a while she fell silent.

"Everything hurts Stef," she groaned as she pulled away from him.

"What happened?" he asked as they both leaned up against the sofa.

"I'm the anchor now… Every time a supernatural being passes through to the other side it will pass through me. I'll feel every death …" she whispered and looked up to him leaving him speechless. "It's excruciating."

_It was easier with you._

Pain. They were both experiencing it. Her's was physical. His mental. Both lead to their insanity.

**Outside the Boarding House**

"What's your problem?" Elena said as he stalked away from her and towards the front door of the boarding house. He was tired of watching her fret over Stefan. Of _Qetsiyah's words playing over and over in his head. Destiny. Fate. He was sick of it. _

"My problem? So now you're concerned with me? Stefan's turn is done?" he asked in anger regretting his words immediately. Elena's face fell but one thing that bothered him the most was that he saw guilt.

"Don't do this. I love you Damon… now that Stefan is happy we can go back to our summer. I just needed to make sure he was ok," his girlfriend implored as she took hold of his hands and smiled up at him. He looked down at her and saw his reason. For everything.

"I love you too," he said as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and bent down to kiss her.

"Get a room!" Jeremy called out as he got out of his truck and carried a carry out box from The Grill followed by Matt. Damon knew that the reason for Jeremy's smile was Bonnie. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't curious to see the witch.

"Come on, Bonnie wants to talk to you," Elena said as she intertwined her fingers with his and pulled him in. As they crossed the threshold he heard their voices from the living room.

"Why do you think your ancestor would let you become something that would endure pain like this?" Stefan asked the witch but both stopped their conversation as they felt everyone enter the room. Matt was the first to make a move as he rushed to get Bonnie. She stood up in time to be caught in Matt's arms. He hugged her tight and Damon sat back with Elena at his side as everyone let them reunite.

"I'm so glad you're back," he told her as he stepped away from her.

"You should be thanking me," Damon called out before he could stop himself and Elena smiled up at him.

"We all know who you did it for Damon … so I already thanked Elena," the witch called him out with a smile that made him laugh.

"It's good to have you back judgy," he said not wanting to mention the conversation they caught the tail end of. She came over to him and wrapped her arms around him without hesitation. He slowly wrapped his own arms around her waist.

"Careful Damon, I'll start to think you actually care," she threw at him for the second time making him lean back uncomfortably. Elena smiled up at him, surely enjoying his demeanor. "Well, I've been day dreaming about actual sleep so I think I'll be going home now," Bonnie said as she moved away from Damon and stood next to Jeremy. He noticed a look pass between his little brother and his witch and he knew something was wrong.

Jeremy and Matt walked Bonnie out after she hugged Elena and Stefan. Damon didn't know what to think as he stood against the fireplace nursing a glass of bourbon. Stefan walked out later leaving him and Elena behind. "Thank you for doing everything you did for Bonnie," she told him as she came up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I did it for you," he whispered as he leaned down and captured her lips in a light kiss.

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**A/N:** Please review.

This wasn't meant to turn into a multi chapter story ... yet here it is. Enjoy!


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